Minions Quotes

You'd think the part of the brain that used to remember phone numbers would take over and start remembering passwords. But NOOOO!

I am convinced that the hardest language for people to speak is the truth.🤨

If I want it, I will work for it. If I am working for it, I will work until I get it. So yes, I get what I want.

When my husband drives, I am not a passenger princess.  I am a survivor.😳

Enjoy your 20s and 30s because when you hit 40, that check engine light is gonna come on.

I know the weather is cooling down, but deodorant is a four seasons thing.

When my husband drives, I am not a passenger princess.  I am a survivor.😳

Starting Nov Ist, anyone who even mildly annoys me is having their number handed out to every child I come across, and told that it's Santa's Hotline. 🎅

My wife did not order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy came to check on us if everything was ok. 😂

Today I learned the average person drops 80-90 curse words a day, about 5 per hour. I also learned I'm above average in something.

Walmart thinks I want to put up my Christmas tree and eat turkey while wearing my Halloween costume.   🎃🎅👻

I might not be a 10 on the beach, but I’m a solid 8 at Walmart. x

If I had spoken to my parents the way kids do nowadays, I wouldn't be here to post this...

If you're going to talk bad about me, invite me, I'll tell you more things.

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder and harder to find one :-)

I am looking for a moisturizer that hides the fact that I have been tired since 1997. 😂

Dear Black Friday, we all have giant TVs now, how about putting groceries on discount instead 🤨

The first born Daughter is always the female version of her Father.

Me: What else can go wrong.  My Body: Well, so glad you asked!

Those who laugh at my posts are smarter, happier and better looking than those who don't… according to a study I made up. 😁

 I HAVE SELECTIVE HEARING. SORRY, YOU WEREN'T SELECTED TODAY. TOMORROW ISN'T LOOKING GOOD EITHER. 🥴

These grocery prices have got me thinking that Thanksgiving dinner this year might be spaghetti... 🍗⛔️

This 'gentle parenting' trend sucks. All I see are burnt-out moms and misbehaving children. There has to be balance and some reprimand for bad behaviour.

Still don't understand how people with no jobs are holding an iphone 16 pro max and driving expensive cars

 You Can't Tell Me The Economy's Fine - I've Seen The Prices At The Grocery Store.

Welcome to middle age. Now you must take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

People born before 1990, what old-school skill do you have that nobody uses anymore?

It's simple. If you don’t plan on keeping the dog its WHOLE LIFE. Then DO NOT get the dog.

I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out, my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."

  Clocks go back on November 7th. I hope mine goes back to when people had Morals, Values, Loyalty, Appreciation, and Respect.

 I grew up with Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now there's no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please don't let anything happen to Kevin Bacon.